I don’t know how to be a parent. Help!

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

God wants to help you become a great parent! And now a word to you parents. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

*Ten ways to raise ANGRY kids:

#1- don’t listen to them…

#2- model: do what I say, not what I do… (say one thing and do another)

#3- make rules that don’t make sense…

#4- discipline them just because you’re angry… (I suggest you yell allot!)

#5- change up the rules according to your mood and energy…

#6- follow through on discipline inconsistently…

#7- make promises that don’t happen…

#8- let something or someone steal time you’ve promised to them…

#9- put your needs above theirs…

#10- put their needs and wants before your commitment to God.

(What does that teach them? That they are the highest authority.)

 

*What does it mean to bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord? (Ephesians 6:4)

 

1st- A parent’s primary purpose in life is to teach his/her children God’s word…

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up Deuteronomy 6:5-7

Q- If you taught your children, as the primary focus of life, to love God- how much of the rest of their lives would simply fall into place as they pursued that relationship?

A- All of it!

 

2nd- A parent considers the example he/she sets in everything…

The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children after them. Proverbs 20:7

Integrity means honesty, truthfulness and uprightness. It means your walk matches your talk. And you know how to say, I’m sorry, I was wrong. A parent cannot afford to be selfish. And let me tell you something: young men look to their parents as the chief example of what’s important in life and young ladies look to parents as the primary model for the relationship they are seeking. Chew on that.

 

3rd- A parent teaches children to make right choices for themselves…

Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it. Proverbs 22:6

Notice He doesn’t say, choose right for them? He says teach them to choose right. Sure there are times when you have to say, “this is what you are going to do”. But little by little you should be proactively teaching them to make good choices for themselves.

 

 

4th- A parent’s resource is not his/herself…

The wicked perish and are gone, but the children of the godly stand firm. Proverbs 12:7

You might be a smart fella but I will promise you something; no matter how smart you are, your wisdom can only get you and your children so far. However, if you are living in God’s wisdom even your children have the opportunity to be standing firm when it’s tough. What is your resource for teaching? How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.  Psalm 119:9

You want to help your kids in this tough old world? Get into God’s word and know it. It’s your resource. The parent of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure it is to have wise children. Proverbs 23:24 That’s for sure! And what pain it causes to have your kids do unwise things.

 

5th- A parent loves his /her kids like crazy…   

Please follow this progression:

Jesus said, Pray like this: Our Father in heaven… Matthew 6:9

God is a parent…

God is love… 1 John 4:16  God is love

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children  2 and live a life of love. Ephesians 5:1-2

God is our example of a loving parent…

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

A loving parent loves by this description.

 

6th- A parent loves like crazy even while he/she disciplines…

If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don’t love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24

A loving parent doesn’t avoid disciplining nor does he or she enjoy disciplining.

Kids need:

1. Godly Rules 2. Loving discipline (Consequences) And… 3. Consistent follow through…

 

Two more thoughts…

*what if I’ve fallen way short as a parent?

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

*I’ve read it, now what?

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

                                    -James 1:22